Teenage Angst

So this is hilarious, I was going through some boxes in my room and found a bunch of old English projects from high school. I'm glad I saved them; it'll give my own students a good laugh. I just about fell over when I found a project called "SUFFER" that I put together during our Holocaust literature unit. Nothing to laugh about here, of course, but as part of the assignment, I had to produce my own piece of writing that reflected on human suffering and pain. Charming. Thank you, Mrs. Darcy, for encouraging us all to explore the depths of our angst.

So I submit to you all for your literary critique, a reflective poem written by 15-year-old Hilary, "Defect."

Defect

Collect yourself.

You should know every step,
We've been here before.
With your eyes closed
You should find this door.

Honestly.

Why do you hurt yourself
With every stutter you make?
The mortification you endure...
Can't you hear your heart break?

And your blundering movements!
Your body catches attention
As you trip through your life.
Don't you know they sense tension?

Each insult you pronounce,
A forked tongue protrudes and
To your careless mind your
Quick mouth alludes.

Come now.

The world will offer you successes
But in the end, aren't you clever?
You didn't do anything with
The laborious body you were given
And in the end you are still
Locked in the labyrinth of your mind.

The end. Thank goodness. Don't know what I was going through or what sparked this poem. It's funny, reading it I feel some of the awkward pain of high school, but it's sort of vague and impossible to place. Or maybe I just wanted a good grade, I got a perfect score on this beast of a project. Take that, system.

The Horror, the Horror!

Two posts in one day. Overkill, right?

First of all, I got a hair cut:
But I am not so vain that I would blog about my new bangs. Although I do like them.

No no, I blog today about a much more serious assunto: project procrastination. In my reentry to civilian life post-mission, I have taken up the daunting task of cleaning out my room. Since the mission, I have become merciless with any and all forms of junk or trash, or sentimental knickknacks that keep me from letting go of the past. In my rummaging, I ran across some relics of long-forgotten projects. Presently, I can positively identify three unfinished projects that still, after YEARS, continue to lurk in the corners and dark places of my bedroom.

Sidelined Project #1: The blue baby blanket.
Okay, to be fair, the blue baby blanket, hereafter BBB, is not actually procrastinated. Yet. Although it has all the potential to be yet another eternal project. It's my first attempt at knitting in a really long time. Only once did I try to knit a scarf, using only the knit stitch, and I never got very far, so I'm not sure if that even counts. I've upgraded to purling as well, so the squares have a nice sweater look to them and a good stretch. I've finished two squares, 6"x6". Supposedly. I've been counting stitches and rows but there are no promises here. Should be cute. But as I said, tomorrow it might be backburnered because of...

Sidelined Project #2: The large denim quilt.
Here's the deal with large denim quilt, hereafter LDQ. LDQ has a little bit of a messy history... I started to make it for an ex-boyfriend who wanted to be a lawyer. For any quilters, the pattern is called "courthouse steps." Anyone think I'm pathetic yet? Anyway, this boy hasn't been in the picture for a long time, and therefore LDQ has sat under the bench in my room for... years. I pulled it out today with the intention of giving it the chuck, thinking that it hadn't turned out very well and that emotional ties would ruin the quilt for me. But I pulled it out today, and ya know, it's pretty cute! So cute that I thought, "To heck with what's-his-name, this quilt is great. And I'm going to finish for ME." Yeah, girl power. I had already cut the next set of pieces for each square, so I'm well on my way to finish this quilt. Well, not finish any time soon. Someday. I started this thing in 2005 so what's the rush, right?

Interestingly, though, what has become my first priority of abandoned projects is...

Sidelined Project #3: The ancient baby quilt.
Just how old is it, you ask? Well, Mom cut the pieces for the quilt a loooong time ago. I would conservatively estimate 12 years ago. I sewed the squares and tied the whole thing (white flannel backing and thin batting) back in 2003. Started hand quilting the squares in 2004. It's probably 60% done, then it needs binding. So I want to finish this sucker too. My handstitching is pretty pitiful. But a baby won't care, right?

So that's what I did today. I'm on a mission to finish these projects! Deadline: 2015.

Back to Reality

Hi everybody.

So I left on an 18-month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on August 13, 2008. If you do the math, works to see that I've been home from the beautiful land of Portugal for a little over a month now. And I have opened this blog several times since returning but have always closed it with a sigh, not sure where to pick up after so much time.

I felt bad for my dear blog, looking somewhat naked as its background that I had put up back in July 2008 doesn't exist anymore. So here ya go, Blog. Some new threads.

More to come later. That is all.